If we had God’s eyes…

If we had God’s eyes, and could see to forever, we’d never have to struggle to believe~

Oh, so very true. It’s so easy to say there’s a God up in heaven… but sometimes it’s so hard to see…

Nest had their Christmas program today, and my mom’s grade schoolers did the Tale of Three Trees. They did really good, I think I was close to tears. XD

Anyway, that line really struck me, because that’s what I’ve been struggling with lately. I’ve been learning to trust God and letting him lead me to wherever without knowing what I’m getting myself into.

Struggle is very new to me; I never really knew what it was until now. This year was probably my most difficult so far. I felt alone a lot of the time and felt like I’d gone to pieces once or twice, but now I’m beginning to find my way and I’ve never felt so close to God as I do now. I still have a long way to go in terms of relinquishing control and trusting God but I’m getting there.

It isn’t easy to trust in Someone you can’t see, especially when the road is bumpy and you feel totally hopeless. But I found that He really is just there, and if you let go and let Him have his way without you resisting, everything goes smoothly and according to His perfect planning.

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Psalm 143:8

And now it’s time for some last minute sewing on the three kings’ costumes for the Sunday School’s play tomorrow.

And all at once the crowd begins to say,

…Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.

-The Fray

Huh, yeah.

You Know I’ve Been Unfaithful…

Jealous Kind

by Jars of Clay

I built another temple to a stranger
I gave away my heart to the rushing wind
I set my course to run right into danger
Sought the company of fools instead of friends

You know I’ve been unfaithful
Lovers in lines
While you’re turning over tables with the rage of a jealous kind
I chose the gallows to the aisle
Thought that love would never find
Hanging ropes will never keep you
And your love of a jealous kind

Tried to jump away from rot that keeps on spreading
For solace in the shift of the sinking sand
I’d rather feel the pain all too familiar
Than be broken by a love I don’t understand
‘Cause I don’t understand

You know I’ve been unfaithful
Lovers in lines
While you’re turning over tables with the rage of a jealous kind
I chose the gallows to the aisle
Thought that love would never find
Hanging ropes will never keep you
And your love of a jealous kind

One hundred other lovers, more, one hundred other altars
If I should slow my pace and finally subject me to grace
And love that shames the wise, betrays the heart’s deceit and lies
And breaks the back of foolish pride

You know I’ve been unfaithful
Lovers in lines
While you’re turning over tables with the rage of a jealous kind
I chose the gallows to the aisle
Thought that love would never find
Hanging ropes will never keep you
And your love of a jealous kind

It hit me really hard, that song. (I couldn’t find a video, but give it a listen if you can.)

I’m sorry for replacing you, God. Thank you that you still love me even after that.

No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:39

I Miss Guitar!

I found my old guitar pieces and exercises today, and I took my guitar out (actually, it was already out, because my sister’s taking lessons now, and she was practicing) and played them again.

And now I miss my guitar classes oh so badly. I miss Abelardo Hall. I miss Teacher Nathan. Awww. *sob*

I stopped taking lessons about a year ago, because I wanted to learn Japanese, and we couldn’t afford both. And I wasn’t very committed to playing the guitar. I didn’t get to practice much. So there.

After I quit lessons, I hardly ever took my guitar out anymore, but when I did, I always missed it. :p I sort of want to take lessons again, but I don’t think I can. Two reasons: no money, and even if I do study again, I’d have to start from the very beginning, and I don’t want to. XD

Anyway, I’m feeling all sentimental now, and I want to look back on the guitar lessons time of my life. So here we go…