Just Seven Days to Go~

Wow, just a week left till Christmas. I haven’t got gifts for anybody yet, isn’t that great? I’m sorry guys, I’ll have them after Christmas, if that’s OK.

I’m actually considering not giving gifts anymore, but that’d be terrible, I don’t want to do that. So I’ll just give them late. Because that’s better than never, right right right?

** Ooh, QuickPress IS awesome.

[Regret]

It just dawned on me today, that if I kept that promise I made myself about a year ago, I could’ve spared us all the trouble we’re going through now. I’m seriously regretting losing my head back then. Because if I hadn’t let my feelings win me over, none of this would be happening right now and we’d be totally fine. Regret regret regret. It’s annoying that I know what to do now, but it’s way too late for that, and we’re all a mess. And now I have to figure out how to fix things.

I know what to do, but it’s not something I want to do. I’m doing it anyway, because I want everything to be OK again, and I know we’ll sort things out eventually, but right now all I can see is how hard the right thing to do actually is.

And all at once, the crowd begins to say, sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.

I’m sorry it had to come to this. It could’ve been avoided, and I wish I did what I had to so that it was. But I guess, things happen for a reason, and we can learn from the mistakes we made. I don’t know what’s going to happen later on, and that scares me, but I have to learn how to relinquish control now.

If we had God’s eyes, and could see to forever, we’d never have to struggle to believe… We’d understand why, and in all of our questions, we’d know what the answers would be. But we have faith enough to know, God is always in control…

SHINE!

The Sunday School kids had their Christmas play today and they were amazing! Just wow. All that work paid off. The costumes were awesome too; I love everyone who helped us sew all those shirts and work on all the other props.

Today was a long day. After the kids performed, they had their Christmas party, and after they left, some teachers stayed behind for a small party for ourselves. That was fun too, except Chubbs kept fighting with me. Maybe that’s partly what made it so fun. XD That, and we girl teachers played around with the angels’ wings from the play. And the food was yummy. Lasagna and roast beef and.. **mouth waters** and that frozen mango bravo. Yum yum yum. Today was the last day I was seeing Bianca for the year, because she’s going to Brunei next Saturday.

The party ended at around 2:30, and I had to wait in church until around 4, because my family forgot to fetch me. Haha. I hung out with Kuya Martin and Leah and Rachel for a while, then when they left I stayed in Teacher Dongdong’s area and took a nap.

Then I finally got picked up, and we went to my aunt’s house where we stayed until dinner. Then we went home, and while we were in the car I saw the moon, and it’s so big and bright tonight. :p

I’m a bit tired, because I wasn’t able to sleep very well last night, and then I woke up early, and then all those things happened today, so yeah.

If we had God’s eyes…

If we had God’s eyes, and could see to forever, we’d never have to struggle to believe~

Oh, so very true. It’s so easy to say there’s a God up in heaven… but sometimes it’s so hard to see…

Nest had their Christmas program today, and my mom’s grade schoolers did the Tale of Three Trees. They did really good, I think I was close to tears. XD

Anyway, that line really struck me, because that’s what I’ve been struggling with lately. I’ve been learning to trust God and letting him lead me to wherever without knowing what I’m getting myself into.

Struggle is very new to me; I never really knew what it was until now. This year was probably my most difficult so far. I felt alone a lot of the time and felt like I’d gone to pieces once or twice, but now I’m beginning to find my way and I’ve never felt so close to God as I do now. I still have a long way to go in terms of relinquishing control and trusting God but I’m getting there.

It isn’t easy to trust in Someone you can’t see, especially when the road is bumpy and you feel totally hopeless. But I found that He really is just there, and if you let go and let Him have his way without you resisting, everything goes smoothly and according to His perfect planning.

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Psalm 143:8

And now it’s time for some last minute sewing on the three kings’ costumes for the Sunday School’s play tomorrow.

I should not still be awake…

But I can’t seem to remove myself from the computer chair.